Joke: Upcoming ’24’ Focuses on Jack Bauer Eating a Sandwich

Humor site BBSpot has a funny article up about 24. It’s of course fake, but a fun read.

Hollywood, CA – Fox was uncharacteristically candid this week about the next hour in one of CTU agent Jack Bauer’s (Kiefer Sutherland) many harrowing days. In an interview with Variety, executive producer Evan Katz revealed the next hour of this season’s 24-hour “day,” from 7-8 p.m., would mostly focus on Jack eating a sandwich.

“Many fans remarked how Jack never seems to stop for anything,” said Katz. “Since the episode is the proverbial deep breath before the plunge, we decided Jack needed some nourishment.”

While Katz declined to get specific, he did share a few moments from the episode. As CTU searches frantically for Marwan and tries to uncover McLennan-Forster’s secrets, Jack’s SUV power-slides into an In-N-Out Burger in Van Nuys. He jumps out, dashes inside and hurriedly orders a Double-Double with no pickles, fries and a Dr. Pepper.

Naturally, the order goes horribly wrong.

The barely sentient cashier fails to enter Jack’s order correctly, so the sandwich arrives with pickles anyway. He then tells Jack that the Dr. Pepper spout is broken. “Listen to me,” Jack says, grabbing the cashier by the shirt. “I need you to take the pickles off now. There’s no time to explain – you’re going to have to trust me.”

Bauer is then forced to choose between Coca-Cola and root beer while the cashier ponders a solution to the pickle crisis.

The balance of the episode is a series of intercuts between the chaos at CTU headquarters and Jack as he eats his sandwich, reads the paper and visits the rest room. As for what Jack does about the soda situation, Katz said, “Jack’s a resourceful guy – he’ll think of something.”